War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again, y'all!

There has always been something very curious to me about the notion of "fighting" Cancer.
I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer in my early twenties and I was about 11 weeks pregnant with my only son. I was told an abortion would clear the path and was basically assured a speedy recovery. But I forged on and had my thyroid removed and waited until after I gave birth to my beautiful Jimmy, to have what would be an onslaught of various "things" to deal with. And I dealt with it.

At that time, Jimmy brought the joy. Cancer brought the pain.

I've had nearly a dozen surgeries, icky painful biopsies and lots of radiation absorbed in an effort to "kill" this Cancer. That was over 10 years ago and I'm still here and I truly don't believe it's because I fought. I believe it's because I finally surrendered.

In 2004 totally out of the blue, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 Kidney Cancer. It was aggressive. It was not my 'easy' Thyroid cancer. It was Fast and Fatal. For nine months, this precious mother of mine was forced into "fight" mode by everyone around her. This loving, peaceful and caring mother of mine was suddenly expected to batten down the hatches and somehow FIGHT the battle of her life completely unprepared, confused and in desperate fear of dying. For nine months everybody kept saying that word. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT--As if this EVIL cancer had been plotting and arranging for years to murder this beautiful creature, my mother. A woman who gave birth to 9 children. A woman who married my father at 19 and remained a faithful, church going wife her whole life. A stay at home mom who cooked every night and kept our little house in order day after day. Broken bones and book reports and faking sick and making wreaths with wire hangers and yarn to sell to neighbors just so we could all have a little extra at Christmas. Are you telling me that this angel of a mother is supposed to now become a soldier overnight and declare war on her precious body and soul? This didn't make any sense to me. It didn't then and it doesn't now. I lived across the street from my mom. We were best friends and neighbors. Everyday I walked across and entered the house where I grew up. It then became the house where my mom was dying. There are many gory details and I know how everyone loves the gory details but I just can't go there today. Today is just about the power of a word. The power of a moment.

Did you know that there are many precious children with Cancer being told that Cancer is a big scary monster that is trying to hurt them, so they must FIGHT this monster everyday with doctors and medicine and tests and needles? These same children lay down to sleep at night and are somehow expected to have sweet and peaceful dreams after a full day of fight, fight, fight?

If a person is sick, especially a child, I believe our only goal should be to bring them peace. Peace in their body. Peace in their soul. Peace of mind. Peace in their organs. Peace in their food. Peace in the hospital. Peace in EVERYTHING. I wonder what would happen if we used the words "peace" or "love," instead of "fight'" every time we referred to Cancer. "Never give up the Fight??" I say never give up the Peace...especially when you need it the most. There is something Radically Positive about shifting your Cancer drift. Consider this: Instead of a soldier fighting, you are a Warrior of Love. A Warrior of Peace. You sit down with your dis-ease and bring stillness to the hospital bed. You LISTEN carefully to what your body needs and feed it properly and with mindfulness. You find doctors willing to walk the path with you and behave as a kindred spirit...not depicted as a magical being whose come to slay your Cancer-Dragon. I whole-heartedly believe people really do want to help and I get the whole "fight" stance. Everyone involved is scared and doesn't want to lose this beautiful person with Cancer, so a kind of panic occurs. But I believe if you take a deep breath and quiet your mind, a new perspective can unfold. You will see that together we can absolutely integrate logical Medications with Positive Meditations and Visualizations. It's all ONE. We are all ONE. Maybe instead of standing up to it and declaring war, we can sit down with Cancer and understand how to work together. How To LIVE together. Cancer is not separate from any of us. We are all in this together.

When I brought PocketPeople to the patients at Mattel Children's Hospital last May, I saw magic. These children were little Warrior Love's. The picture of acceptance and peace. I met a little girl named Angelina. She had just had Thyroid surgery and we smiled at each other's scars. We shared a split second of pure sisterhood. It was Divine light. She was not at war. Angelina was at peace in that moment and she had God in her eyes. It was the only picture I took that day. (above) Her mom said it was alright. I don't know where she is now, but I felt then where she had been.

I don't at all feel we should abandon finding a cure for Cancer. Nor would I suggest that people with Cancer not seek medical treatment. I am not suggesting that Cancer should be our new BFF or any other absurdity such as this. I vividly see a world free of Cancer in the future. But until then, Cancer can be a teacher. A teacher of peace, unconditional love and Compassion. It can connect communities of people around the world. It can motivate, unite and transform all kinds of people. There is an undeniable positive side of this disease and there are many people who have turned their Cancer experiences into amazing accomplishments.

But the greatest gift (yes I said gift) that Cancer has brought to me, is a bold reminder of the importance and beauty of the only thing we ever really have...the present moment.

You can fill it with light or you can fill it with fight. I choose light.


Sigh...but I sure do miss my mom.


With deepest respect and genuine care for all people and their families living and dying everyday with Cancer. Peace be with you.

xoxo Rita Ross and The PocketPeople